Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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