just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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