Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
handjob tips. give me some.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
