when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
