I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
