he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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