it was like eating out sand paper
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
its liver damage thursday
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
