i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
