He is an equal opportunity slut.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
