Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
