i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize