Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
