Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
