is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
As shirtless as possible
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize