Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
