Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
