She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
