who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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