Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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