the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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