Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
