I'm sorry my penis didn't work
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
