that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
