I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
