I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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