That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Houston, we have a blender
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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