You really coming over, don't trick.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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