Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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