WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
