On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
