if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
