I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
