1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
