i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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