And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize