i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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