There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
