If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize