She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
