Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
