I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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