haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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