I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize