Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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