Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
