Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
