Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
