i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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