I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
pop tarts are not kleenex
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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