shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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