so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
