Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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