I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
