He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
