i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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