there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize