dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
