Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
3 2 1 whiskey
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
