I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
