How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
