i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
