I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
