it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
