I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
