oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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