I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize