ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
