You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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