Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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