of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
