I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
